Pride 2013

This weekend I had the privilege to march in the Utah Pride Festival's Pride Parade with a group called Mormons Building Bridges. MBB is a group of Mormons from all walks of life, all political affiliations, and all levels of active ness in the Church. But the one thing we all have in common, is love and acceptance for our LGBT family members, neighbors, and coworkers.

As I am still a believing Mormon, and an outspoken lesbian, I couldn't think of anyone better to march with, for my very first Pride Festival and Parade.

The experience was overwhelmingly positive, and loving. I marched so that people could see that one can be gay and Mormon. Or gay and religious in general. I marched so that I could help. But it was the people who lined the streets that helped me instead.

There were about 400-500 of us, which made us one of the largest participants (if not the largest). All dressed up in our Sunday best, and holding signs that have Family names, and Scripture passages, we held an opening prayer, and then we were off. I had barely walked for a half of a block, before I saw an older woman crying uncontrollably. As I got closer to her, I could see a CTR ring on her finger. I gave her the most heart-felt hug I could muster, as she choked back tears, and told me how thankful she was that we were there, and how much it meant to her. 

That's when I knew that this wouldn't be a normal parade.

As we marched, the streets were lined with people cheering, and clapping for us. Many people expressed their thanks, and appreciation. I gave many high fives, handshakes, and more hugs. I also got to see friends along the route, which made the experience that much more special.

Close to the end of the route, a young woman around my age came up to me, weeping. She gave me a hug, and then asked me if she could still have a relationship with God, even though she was gay. In those 30 seconds or so, I was able to bear my testimony of the Savior's love for us, and I instinctively recited this quote, "No matter who you are, or what you may have done, you can always pray." I have her one last hug, and a smile and I ran to catch up to the group.

When I got home, I looked up the quote, as I didn't know who said it. I was unbelievably surprised when I saw that I had quoted Elder Boyd K. Packer. After all of the discouraging, and down right hurtful things Elder Packer has said concerning people who are gay, I was so pleased to be able to offer his words as a comfort for this wonderful lesbian. It sure was fitting, and blissfully ironic.

My testimony grew. My heart grew. This parade spiritually uplifted me more than any other event in my life with the exception of my baptism. I encourage anyone who wants to be involved for next years parade, to do it. It was unbelievable. 

I believe that life is a beautiful mess

I believe in following your passion. I believe I am invincible. I believe in my dreams, achieving my goals, and in helping other in all that I do. I will make my life everything I want it to be. I will leave my mark on the world. I believe in finding solutions for every situation I come across. I believe in doing my best. I believe my life is driven by the questions of "how" and "why". I will find the answers.

I believe in owning up to your faults and mistakes. I know I'm not perfect. I believe in looking out for the welfare of others, and helping everyone find their happiness. I believe in being caring, understanding, and compassionate. I believe in Respect, Forgiveness, Patience, and Trust.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I also believe your life is what you make it. I believe in taking time to smell the roses, but I know life's thorns don't like to be ignored. I believe that the good must come with the bad. I believe that trials make you stronger. I believe there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

I believe in the power of hard work. I believe I will have a garden in my future. I believe its about the journey, not about getting there. I believe the future's not all it's cut out to be, though it's all I look forward to. I believe there is a purpose for everything I do. I will make it be so.

I believe in living with what you are given, but never just settling. I believe life is what you make of it, and to strive for what you want. I believe I will always find happiness in every little thing.

I believe life is a beautiful mess.

First USGA Meeting

I went to my first UGSA (Understanding Same Gender Attraction) meeting today down at BYU. Its a group of a bunch of BYU students who are gay/lesbian/bisexual, to have a safe place to be able to work through it, and to be able to network, and meet people like them. There is a mix of people who are devout Mormons who abide by the Law of Chastity, and people who are questioning if they want to or not, or are trying to make a hybrid of being Mormon, and being gay with a partner, to people who have left the Church entirely. I was afraid that it was going to be a bunch of super Mormons that are all gun-ho about being celibate, blah blah blah. And I met a lot of girls (a lot of cute girls lol) that still love the Church, and will continue to love it, but are choosing to be happy, and want to fall in love with a beautiful woman, and spend the rest of their lives with them. And that is exactly what I am looking for in a girl. To a "T". 

Skiing isn't a sport. Its a state of mind.

I've been watching a lot of Warren Miller films lately, and have been listening to a lot of my "ski playlists" on Pandora, and iTunes. Its been getting colder, and I'm starting to break out my ski stuff, and winter clothes. I've bought my new skis, and just have to get bindings for them. I've gotten a new jacket, and pants. I'm super stoked to get out there, and break it all in, and the wait is killing me. I'm SO excited for the season!!!

A lot of people kinda look at me weird when I tell them I'm a big skier. They don't understand what it means when I say that I clock in about 40 full days on snow. I eat, sleep and dream about snow. I look at videos, and vow that someday, I'll ski where they are skiing. I talk to sponsored athletes, and I promise myself that someday, I will be good enough to be sponsored. It's a long shot for sure... but it doesn't mean I can't dream big! This year, my skiing is going to be better than ever. I'm ready to leave it all out there. 

For me, skiing isn't just a sport. Its a way of life.

Random Thoughts For The Day

1. I absolutely LOVE President Thomas S. Monson!
2. Star Wars, Dr. Pepper, BBQ Pringles, and fruit snacks are a wonderful combination at 1am.
3. Ski season is 49 days away!!!
4. Its supposed to snow on Thursday!!! SO EXCITED!!
5. My candles make my room smell like Christmas, but I accidentally got green candle wax on my carpet. I don't know how to get it out... uh oh...
6. R2D2 is my favorite droid ever. He's legit.
7. I miss you. I miss you so much. Come back to me.
8. I have a soccer double header tomorrow... I think I'm gonna die...
9. My deodorant smells super good. 
10. I cleaned my room yesterday. I'm proud of myself.
11. I love to go grocery shopping. Is that weird?
12. My boss is super legit. I wanna be like her someday.
13. The more I go to school, the more I realize that I'd rather be a ski bum on the side on a mountain in a tent for the rest of my life.
14. I'm getting my hair cut on Friday!! I'm super duper excited!!
15. My super good friend is coming back to Utah at the end of the month!! 
16. I'm going to buy a car. And its gonna be awesome!
17. He is always there for you. Ever loyal, and supportive, He is an unconditional friend who stands by you, always encouraging, and understanding you. What better friend could you have than the Savior?

I love the Church. I love God. I love Christ. I'm not perfect, and I'm flawed, and I make thousands of mistakes everyday. Some big. Some small. But I try. I try so hard to be the very best person that I can be. And that makes all the difference. 

So... to all of you out there... who judge me, and think I'm a lost cause... who think that I will never change, and never be the person you wish that I was... hate all you want. Because I am cherished, valued and beautiful through the eyes of God. And that's all I will ever need to know.

Life is full of setbacks. Success is determined by how you handle setbacks.

I've been having some fun tonight, because I'm just out of my zone. I'm just out of everything. I'm drained all outta happy. So here is some happy that I found along the way.

This picture makes my whole life... because it's totally me. I'm a big time skier. I'm in love with my moped. And it's old school. And I'm lovin' it. Someday I'll get my picture taken like this. And maybe someday I'll be as legit as she is!

This is something a friend put together for me a while ago. This is definitely me too. The actual picture isn't me, its Ellen Page, but it kinda looks like me, and it has my favorite colors in it. But its me, surrounded by my first love. Music. I play the piano... and I love it! I play the music, I write the music... I love the music. And she found all black and white pictures to surround the only one in color, me.

And then this is one that I made for me. It's my name, and then another picture of Ellen Page... and the quote from Juno, "I don't really know what kind of girl I am." That quote sums me up pretty darn well... Just makes me smile. :)

And here's a few happy things I saw today, and wrote down.

• "Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself."
• The world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind."
• Friend's are more important than money."
• "The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness."
• "Do one thing a day that scares you."
• Drink fresh water and as much water as you can. Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp."
• "Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself."
• "Breathe deeply and appreciate the moment. Living in the moment could be the meaning of life."
• "Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to."
• "That which matters the most should never give way to that which matter the least."
• "Stress is related to 99% of all illness."
• "Dance, sing, floss, and travel."
• "The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive one."
• "A daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offset stress."
• "Creativity is maximized when you're living in the moment."
• "Nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. Mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life."
• "Visualize your eventual demise. It can have an amazing effect on how you live for the moment."

Just thought I would share those... because I like them a lot, and I think some other awesome people might like it too :)