"Why are we here? Where do we come from? Where are we going?" I remember when the missionaries asked me these questions as an investigator. I told them that I came from Heaven, but was going to Purgatory. They didn't think it was very funny...
As members of the Church, we believe that God was once mortal... He was like us. We believe that the ordinances and covenants in the temple will allow us to become like God in the afterlife. Once we're like God, we'll make little spirit babies, and we'll live happily ever after, as we send our kids down to mortality and listen to them bitch and moan at us for stubbing their toes and losing their keys.
That's the plan. Be like God.
What if you're gay? If you're gay you need to reevaluate everything. "Why are we here? Where do we come from? Where are we going?" The answers we all have been taught in Church... well... they simply aren't applicable anymore. They aren't going to happen... at least not as the Church teaches us.
How did Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother make us? How do we, when we achieve Godhood, create our own spirit children? In Moses 3:5 we learn that God created all things spiritually before they were created physically. He created us, and therefore we will create our own. Will I be literally birthing out babies? Ummmm... no. I'm not going to be doing that in mortality... much less for the rest of eternity. And the word create isn't exclusive to spirit children... it extends to things like planets and trees. Will I birth a planet? Fuck. No.
There is so much about the next life that we simply don't know. We don't know how we will make spirit children, or how eternity will be. Trying to say that homosexuality is not natural and not ordained of God by saying that you have to have a man and a woman to physically make the child, is idiotic at best. Heavenly Father would have had to have an eternal stash of little blue pills, and Heavenly Mother would have had to have a really high pain tolerance... and an ironclad vagina. It simply isn't logical.
And even if this is the way it's supposed to be... if the Plan of Salvation is really full of misogynistic doctrines and ideals... how ridiculous is it that Heavenly Father gets pleasure and power while Heavenly Mother gets pain and stretch marks? I mean... it is such a small price to pay to spend an eternity having your children, at worst, have no idea that you exist, and at best, feel you are too sacred to brag about...
I struggled quite a bit against Mormon culture in my own way when I was a young single adult as far too often I saw members who forgot that God Loves all His children. So in that way I see a kindred spirit and I do understand some of what you face so out of concern I share the following.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a young adult a wise institute teacher said to me "Do not allow the true principle that God Loves all His children to give you license to wrest the Scriptures." Those have been words to live by for me as I've continued to grow in the Gospel. God Love all His children regardless of their choices and chosen identities; He Loves Lucifer as well but after saying with all the tender feeling of a loving parent "No ... Sorry ... it does not work that way" Lucifer had to be cast out.
Why? Just as no matter how much your mortal parents love you there are certain realities they can not change in life even if they wished to; God as well faces Eternal realities that despite His great Love of you He can not change and if He refused to live by them He would cease to be God.
I would encourage you to never cease searching the scriptures and in an open minded fashion, you've done so well in that thus far keep going. I would point out chain of scriptures to consider. In Mosiah 3:19 we read that all natural men (and women) are enemies to God, we all have desires within us that if we choose to act on them we cannot be with God. 1 Corinthians 10:13 tell us that God provides a way to resist any temptation or wrong desire that we may have in our lives. But what about these desires; aren't they a part of our identity? Read Alma 34:34 in a positive light, yes it says that if we allow a temptation to work in us in this life it does become part of our eternal identity but turn it around and it also means that if we resist letting a desire become part of our identity it does not come with us into eternity and will not be part of our eternal identity.
I don't think you're broken or have some problem because you have homosexual desires. We all have wrong and improper desires that can keep us from exaltation. I see an incredible daughter of God who is strong enough that God knew she could have powerful desires and still make the right decision. God gives commandments not because He likes making rules, He gives commandments to help us mold our identity into one that will accept Eternal realities and will be able to be exalted.
I'm not saying these things because I want to ruin your day or because I want to show how intelligent I am. I'm saying these things because as your brother I want to see you stand before God and say that you are ready and prepared to become a Goddess, Queen, and Priestess, to rule and reign forever alongside a God, King, and Priest. Then God may look on you not only with Love but also from being greatly pleased with you and say "Yes you are, enter into your celestial kingdom and glory."
Yes there will be mistakes and missteps along the way, that's why we have a Savior.
Hi Ellen! There's much we don't understand about the eternities, how things will work there, why some of us are born with the challenges we face, etc.
ReplyDeleteThat said, there are things we _do_ know, and that's what I try to focus on. I do know that Christ taught us to love one another, I do know that when I think of loving everyone, regardless of their perceived "sins," I feel the spirit. And that's good enough for me.
I'm sorry you are such a large target for the 'haters' - it's a lonely road, I'm sure. Just know that Heavenly Father needs you to help others see that His love knows no bounds, and that the judgments we make in this life are petty and ridiculous. Know that, if Christ were here in the flesh, he'd identify more with you than he would those that judge you. He'd hang out with you sooner than with them. He did it in the "meridian of time," and he'd do it again. :)
You're awesome!! Thanks for the back up!!
DeleteJason, your mention of Christ choosing to hang out with Ellen sooner than people that spend their time judging instead of improving (am I putting words in your mouth? ;-) ) made me think of this post that made me think entirely differently about the concept of Heaven. http://bgm-britishgaymormon.blogspot.com/2013/09/bathed-in-white-and-bright-i-hope.html
DeleteEllen, I think your explanation of the reevaluation process gay people must undergo explains precisely why I was able to so easily quit believing. I was really surprised at how quickly realizing I was gay made it so easy to no longer believe the Plan of Happiness. I don't know if I'll be able to reevaluate that back the other direction, and perhaps at some time I will, but for now it really doesn't sound like a plan that involves happiness for me. Anyway, keep writing. Keep being you. I, at least, will appreciate you just the same for it.
I want to bring some perspective into the idea of inequality between men and women in the church. As a general rule, women are naturally born as co-creators with or heavenly patents, bringing spirit and body together into beautiful form. What a wonderful gift! Men are given the priesthood, whose purpose is to serve these beautiful creations. Only through faithful service and a commitment to give everything to the work and the glory of out creators, will men eventually have the opportunity to take part in this creation process. Now, regardless of what a woman chooses, her part in the creation process its rarely taken from her, but is a choice for her to participate in at any time she chooses.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. We all question what we are taught just some of us don't know the answers and we may never know. I like this explanation alot. It puts into perspective all the Shit that's been in my head for years. You rock lady it was nice meeting you last weekend
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