A Most Pleasant Surprise

After posting my "coming out" story, I've had a lot of good reception. I have yet to have someone call me a degenerate, or sinner, or whatever. Which is a relief. For the most part, I've had people thank me for telling my story, because we change hearts and minds by showing people that we are just like everyone else.

But today, I had a pleasant surprise.

Katie Seibert was my "arch-nemesis" growing up in school. She was one of the popular kids. And while I had plenty of friends, I certainly was not a stereotypical "popular kid". If you would've asked me 6 years ago if Katie was my friend, or if I was Katie's friend, I would have laughed openly in your face.

Today, I opened my computer at work, and logged onto Facebook for a little bit, and I heard the little *ding* that tells me that someone had sent me a message. It was Kait. She had read my blog, and was apologizing for how she treated me in school. My heart warmed at what I was reading. I had never heard a more sincere statement in my life. She felt bad for making me feel different.

I forgave her. Not because I had been mad at her, or that she had hurt me, or even that what she did was wrong, but deserved to hear it from me. She reached out to me, and was humble enough to say that she had done something wrong, and she deserves that from me. And I wanted to give it to her. It also turned out that we have so much more in common than we ever would've thought 6 years ago. We talked about our lives since high school, and I think that we might be friends now... like real life friends.

I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me. Having her come to me and want to reconcile differences, gives me hope that one day, I will have that reconciliation with my parents and my siblings. She's not the only one who has come to me, and wanted to be friends again... Kait, Sophie and Anthony have been the most recent, and I've still retained friends from high school who saw me for who I was, and not how I acted. It gives me hope that my family will come around. But until then, its one person at a time. And I'm ok with that.

Its the end of the world as we know it

Its been way too long since I've updated this bad boy... so here goes nothing I suppose...
The last 6 months have been long. Really long. Mostly has been good. But some things have just been interesting all around.
So... my job sucks. On an epic scale. Apparently its ok to cut hours from 30 to 15, suddenly and without any warning. So yeah. I need to find a new job before I kill people. Or wither away from starvation.
I fell in Love. Yep. I said it. I fell in love with the most amazing, beautiful girl in the world. Her name is Melissa, and she's amazing. She's LDS, and she served a mission in 2006-2007 (wow that makes me young... I was 16, and a junior in high school). I love that she is so spiritual... we talk about her mission, or the Gospel almost daily... its one of my favorite things about her. She's living in Utah County currently, but she's moving to SLC soon (more on that later). She has a dog named Maggie Mayhem, and she lives up to her name daily, and I've yet to meet the crazy beast :) I've fallen completely, head over heels in love with her. I can't explain it... the why and how... but it's there, and nothing has ever felt this good, and this right in my entire life. And we're going to move in together... we're looking for places as we speak. And I can't wait to hold my beautiful girl in my arms every night for the rest of forever.
I sang in a stake choir/orchestra group last month. We performed Rob Gardner's "Lamb of God". And it was absolutely amazing and inspiring. I gained a stronger testimony of the Saviour, and of His Atonement. It changed my life. And it has also (possibly) changed my major back to music. Yeah... I'm 3 semesters away from graduating, and now is the time that I have my epiphany. This is going to be interesting to say the least. Sigh.
I have nothing else to report... its 4:15, and I need to at least attempt to get some sleep tonight... insomnia sucks...

I should probably try to make writing a more regular past time...

So its been roughly a month since the last post I made (other than the one a few days ago) and it seems like there are people out there who actually read this... kudos to you... its a pretty lifeless, boring piece of work if you ask me... (then again... I did just proclaim to the world that I'm dating a woman...) Regardless... I am going to make a concerted effort to not be so boring and lifeless, and to be instead... well... something else.

As my few, fine readers know, I am studying Political Science at the University of Utah... but that I actually major in skiing. Best snow on Earth... with the exception of this season, which has been all but a dud. So, I've concentrated on my more formal course of study... hoping that it will whisk away my depressed mood about the lack of snow. How wrong I was...

I'm working on my thesis paper this semester since I'm not taking classes (I'm broke... no money for tuition, much less anything else). I decided to scrap my previous topic about terrorism being classified as a war crime, and instead, am playing around with ideas about politics and religion... how they relate to one another, and their affects on one another. Its daunting, and all new research needs to be done, but it'll be fascinating, and I'm excited to learn.

Other than that, there really isn't much to tell... my life is pretty boring. Not much going on...

Cheers!

I have no idea what I want in my life...

So... I'm dating this kid. His name is Zac. He's a cool kid, and I like him. But for some reason... now that we are dating, I have this weird, uncomfortable feeling about everything. I don't know... I have a hard time being able to see him, and be attached to him. Its like I have this mental block that doesn't let me love anyone else but that one person from last year. I can't get past the fact that I loved them. I loved them, and they broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I don't know if I can recover from that. I'm broken.

Now onto school. I love school. And I'm loving my classes and my major. But the more I ski, and the more I learn, and develop a passion, and a knowledge base about skiing, the more I don't want to study politics... and the more I want to stay in the ski industry. I'm already a total ski bum in the winter time... clocking almost 50 days on snow. I just bought a new pair of skis, and have bought a season pass to The Canyons in Park City. I just cannot focus on anything other than snow, and trees, and steeps. My classes are important, and I know that I'm studying the right thing in school... but I just cannot focus. :( My Comparative Politics class is kicking my ass, so is my Party Politics, and European Politics class. I work my ass off trying to keep my grades up... I study at work, I put my boyfriend second, to go to the library for the rest of the night instead. I never see my friends, or my roommates because I'm working full-time, and studying full-time. I'm exhausted. 

I don't know what I want anymore. I am so confused. I have no idea.

Well it has been quite a while...

So its been a crazy couple of months. I've moved from the Avenues, and now I'm living in Taylorsville with Tess and Andy. I've started my new job as the skiing authority with SNIAGRAB at Sports Authority, and I love it, but I was working 140 hour pay periods, and I about drove myself crazy. I'm taking my classes at the U, and I'm learning alot, but I am so far behind because I'm working so many hours. I'm dating a boy I'm not too sure about... I mean he's great, and wonderful. He's an RM, and he's a gentleman... but I don't think that I'm ready to really be committed to anyone... not with everything that has gone about in the last year for me. And then, last but not least... the whole Missy ordeal, but whatever. 

Don't get me wrong... I love my life, and the people I have in it. I have made wonderful friends up here... but there is something missing... and I don't know how to fix it.

School's Starting!!

Well... here we go again! School is starting up again, and its back to the books. YAY! Its my first semester at the University if Utah this fall, and I'm super excited! My schedule for the semester is as follows...

Intro to Law and Politics (POLS 3200)
European Politics (POLS 3410)
Intro to Comparative Politics (POLS 2200)
Political Parties (POLS 3120)

This is going to be an intense semester... but an awesome one nonetheless! Super excited!!

In other news, I had an interview with Sports Authority the other day as a skiing sales associate! Hope I get it, because that means that I'll be able to get my ski bum on a few months early :D Which means that winter is essentially starting in August :D And that makes me super happy!

Also... I'm moving in with Tessie and Andy. That'll be fun. We'll see how Christine reacts to it... see if she hates me even more for it. Who knows. I'm to the point where I want to ask her if she has any interest in being my friend... but that'd be just bitchy of me, and I don't want to be the bitchy friend. So who knows. But this could be fun. Because we spend a whole lot of time together anyway, and it'll save us a ton of gas :) But yeah. Thats what's going on in the life of Ellen. Not to mention that I'm going on a date tonight!