14 March 2014

Heavenly Mother, Are You Really There?

Last night I was in bed getting ready to say my prayers. My prayers are really more like conversations... talking to God about the concerns I have in my life. He knows me personally, and He made me unique from everyone else in the world. So I feel like I have the liberty to talk to Him personally.

So I laid down, and opened with "Heavenly Parents". I talked and put out my concerns, and asked for blessings... you know... all the normal stuff. Then quite abruptly, I realized that I was only addressing Heavenly Father. The only time that I had acknowledged Heavenly Mother was in the beginning.
This, unfortunately, isn't surprising to me. I'm sure that part of it comes from being raised in Catholicism's version of patriarchy, and being thrust into Mormonism's extreme patriarchal culture certainly didn't help. But the trigger is looking at the parallells in my relationships between my Heavenly Parents, and my mom and dad.

My relationship with my parents is non existant, and has been for several years now. But when I was still living at home, while still unstable and forced, was at least in existance. My dad was the "good cop"... he would talk to me in mild tones, and would (usually) listen to my side of the story, or my feelings on matters. When I needed to ask permission from someone, it was from Dad. I felt comfortable coming to him with tears in my eyes, and asking for a hug... and the answer was always yes, often with no questions asked.

Mom? Never. We never talked civilly. Her tones were sharp and condescending. I was uncomfortable and intimidated. She yelled at me, and I yelled back. I never felt safe to confide in her, and I rarely felt her love... and often, not even her tolerance.

(I do want to make clear that I was the worst teenager who had ever walked the face of the Earth, and I deserved to be treated this way. But still... this has stunted me.)

Heavenly Father loves me. I know He does. He listens to me when I'm worried, and even when I'm wrong. He corrects me, usually by gently pushing me in the right direction, but sometimes sharply when it's needed. But I always know that He loves me.

Heavenly Mother is very different... I do not feel her love. And instead of seeing Her, I see my mother.
This is devestating to me. I have one Divine Being to look to, to see what my eternal destiny is supposed to be... and I have no relationship with Her, and I have virtually no scriptural or scholarly examples to look to, and to study.The boys have Heavenly Father, and Christ, and we have thousands... millions of resources to look to, to see what they should aspire to be, and to work towards.

I don't know what my divine potential means as a female, and it makes me feel less important. The problem is... I don't know how to fix it...

5 comments:

  1. I found this article very interesting. I think part of the reason a lot of us as women don't know what to think of our Heavenly Mother is because we don't hear a lot about her. We are commanded in the scriptures to pray only to our Heavenly Father, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have a close and personal relationship with both of our heavenly parents. I have struggled for a long time to understand my divine role as a woman, and I am still learning every day. However, I know that our Heavenly Mother cares very deeply for our well-being, and both she and Father are working every day to help us be happy. After going through the temple, I felt a much closer connection to heaven and I now feel that I can see more clearly what my purpose is. Although Satan tries to confuse us and tell us that we as women are inferior or don't have a purpose in the plan, that is false! I love a quote that I heard a few weeks ago by Glenn L. Pace: "Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and you look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your divine nature and destiny."

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  2. I've heard scholars at fair Mormon conferences suggest that Heavenly Mother could be The Holy Ghost because of the gender of the Holy Ghost in the early Hebrew scriptures before they were mistranslated. There are other indicators in the scriptures that Heavenly Mother could be that Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the still small voice. Perhaps they don't have a body because the Holy Ghost is multiple people, multiple mothers? Who knows... But Christ was conceived with the help of the Holy Ghost... Interesting. If that's the case then you already have a very close relationship with Heavenly Mother. She's always been there. She is the comforter. Or maybe we just feel Heavenly Mother through the Holy Ghost. Maybe it's not so literal and maybe Heavenly Mother uses whoever the Holy Ghost is to communicate and connect with us and help us home... We will know her when we see her. She loves us. We knew and loved her before this life. She has not abandoned her children. She is there. As is our Heavenly Father. And their Son. The Godhead could be Father, Mother and Son. The eternal family. Our advocate with the Father. Our baptism allows the constant companionship with the Holy Ghost. I think Heavenly Mother uses the Holy Ghost's power to stay close to us...

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  3. I've heard scholars at fair Mormon conferences suggest that Heavenly Mother could be The Holy Ghost because of the gender of the Holy Ghost in the early Hebrew scriptures before they were mistranslated. There are other indicators in the scriptures that Heavenly Mother could be that Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the still small voice. Perhaps they don't have a body because the Holy Ghost is multiple people, multiple mothers? Who knows... But Christ was conceived with the help of the Holy Ghost... Interesting. If that's the case then you already have a very close relationship with Heavenly Mother. She's always been there. She is the comforter. Or maybe we just feel Heavenly Mother through the Holy Ghost. Maybe it's not so literal and maybe Heavenly Mother uses whoever the Holy Ghost is to communicate and connect with us and help us home... We will know her when we see her. She loves us. We knew and loved her before this life. She has not abandoned her children. She is there. As is our Heavenly Father. And their Son. The Godhead could be Father, Mother and Son. The eternal family. Our advocate with the Father. Our baptism allows the constant companionship with the Holy Ghost. I think Heavenly Mother uses the Holy Ghost's power to stay close to us...

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  4. https://youtu.be/ilF9NXEl6Xs
    Here is the best talk at a fair Mormon conference by a methodist scholar and very very educated British lady who was invited by fair Mormon to give an address on Heavenly Mother. She totally believes Heavenly Mother and the Holy Spirit are linked, perhaps the same personage. She also talks about the temple, how Mary and Heavenly Mother have symbolic similarities and how Heavenly Mother is the Spiritual Mother of Jesus Christ and all of us. We are an eternal family. https://youtu.be/ilF9NXEl6Xs

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  5. Sorry I made a mistake above...Our baptism *and confirmation* allows the constant companionship with the Holy Ghost. I think Heavenly Mother uses the Holy Ghost's power to stay close to us...

    For more insights we must review, watch and read these links:

    https://youtu.be/ilF9NXEl6Xs

    http://www.the-exponent.com/what-i-first-learned-about-heavenly-mother/

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