25 March 2012

100 Reasons To Be A Lesbian

I found this on one of my lesbian friend's blogs tonight, and its freaking hilarious. This is all her, but I can relate to just about everything on this list. Read, and laugh... because it really is that funny :)



100 Reasons to be a Lesbian

1. Being able to say " What should I wear?" without getting made fun of by your boyfriend.
2. Sexy Santa outfits.
3. Because girls know how to be beautiful inside and out.
4. The way they get nervous.
5. Because you can't choke on a vagina.
6. Because the giggle or laugh of a girl who is in love with you is the most beautiful sound in the world.
7. Girls laugh cuter than guys do.
8. Girls get you.
9. Girls will be cute with you without being forced to.
10. She is the sun in the day, and the stars late at night, and when you're together, it just feels so right. I could never love a man like that.
11. The sound a girl makes when you nip at their lips or ears.
12. The way a woman's skin feels when you brush your fingertips against her.
13. Cute Halloween costumes.
14. The way they sound when they sing. The way they look when they dance. Swoon.
15. Belly button piercings are cute.
16. The dresses the women wore in "The Patriot".
17. I'm a lesbian because only girls can make my heart race.
18. If you had passionate sex with a woman then you'd know why I'm a lesbian.
19. Lady Gaga. She's got me like nobody.
20. Girl's lower backs.
21. Must I repeat the fact that girls are just cute?
22. Ladyparts > Manparts
23. Compare The Spice Girls to N*SYNC. Spice Girls win.
24. Have you seen the L Word?
25. I wanna be like Ellen and Portia Degeneres.
26. You don't have to lick balls.
27. You don't have to worry about kissing them with your lipgloss on... because they don't mind.
28. Christina Hendricks' breasts.
29. Girls aren't constantly adjusting their gentitals.
30. Megan Fox.
31. Because they don't have penises.
32. Joan Jett.
33. Angelina Jolie.
34. Nuff said.
35. All she ever needs is a look on my face to know what I want and how I feel.
36. You have an excuse to like Justin Bieber... He looks like one of us.
37. I can go into a gay bar and actually come out with a phone number.
38. Disgusted by men.
39. Because I can enjoy myself in the kitchen without hearing jokes about a woman's place.
40. Girls look better dancing.
41. To ruin every mother's dream wedding plans for her daughter.
42. Girls understand your love for kittens.
43. I'm obligated to be a lesbian because I like Tegan and Sara.
44. Girls look better in the morning.
45. I can actually have a platonic relationship with a man.
46. Girls know what girls like.
47. There are too many cute girls on tumblr NOT to be a lesbian.
48. Girls can sit with their knees touching without complaining about not having "room".
49. Girl's lips are softer.
50. The only problem with having an ex-girlfriend is the custody battle between clothes.
51. There were always more Barbie dolls than there were Ken dolls. Everyone can't date Ken.
52. I'm waiting on Kristen Stewart to come out of the closet.
53. Ellen Page.
54. Olivia Wilde.
55. Women are, more often than not, a fan of the felines.
56. They all love Tegan and Sara.
57. Women rarely tell you to suck it up and stop crying. Maybe she'll even cry with you.
58. Face it, women are just cuter.
59. Mom's are great... My kids will get two.
60. Sex is intuitive. Let's just say when you have the same parts, there's much less of a learning curve.
61. Look at a naken man. Then look at a naked woman. Now don't tell me that you seriously find the man more attractive.
62. Girls are way better kissers than boys. No thanks sloppy kisses.
63. Hello, have you seen Kiera Knightley?
64. Because body parts should not move on their own.
65. I like to be the one to pay for dinner once in a while.
66. Keep-in' it cool.
67. I love plaid.
68. NOTHING about a guy turns me on.
69. Girls are pretty.
70. Girlfriends know not to ask me if its my "time of the month" when I'm being difficult.
71. NO BACK HAIR.
72. Men's skin feels the same as sand paper.
73. Kissing someone with facial hair feels like rubbing your face on sandpaper.
74. We have similar interests in TV shows.
75. Legs, legs, and more legs.
76. We never have headaches.
77. Women don't sleep with their hand down their pants.
78. I don't want to be forced into a hunting trip.
79. We can eat lollipops without one of us getting the wrong idea.
80. Men don't get that telling us to calm down will only piss us off.
81. Men don't understand it when you say, "I need some ice cream RIGHT NOW."
82. I like to be the big spoon sometimes.
83. We can borrow each other's clothes.
84. Women don't burp on purpose.
85. I'll never have to do the dishes because "I'm the woman."
86. Boobs are always better than no boobs.
87. Only gay men take care of themselves as much as lesbians do.
88. It's all about the curves.
89. Barbies have always been better than Ken dolls.
90. I don't want a guido. Then again... I don't want a guidette either.
91. If you're not in the mood, blame it on cramps. Don't worry, she'll understand.
92. I'll never have to deal with beer guts.
93. Happy Trails. 'Nuff said.
94. Men are what they have. Dicks.
95. Women are gorgeous creatures.
96. Lesbians actually know what they're doing in the bedroom.
97. I don't have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant.
98. I don't want to ever HAVE to sit throught the Super Bowl
99. Have you SEEN Tool Academy?
100. Men have hair from head to toe. Literally.

11 comments:

  1. OK, so here's my reaction to a few of these points...

    'Women don't sleep with their hand down their pants?' Neither does my boyfriend.

    'Lesbians actually know what they're doing in the bedroom'? So does my boyfriend. Believe me.

    'Men have hair from head to toe. Literally'? My boyfriend doesn't...

    'I'll never have to deal with beer guts'? Right, like an obese woman is a beautiful thing.

    And...'Men's skin feels the same as sandpaper'? Oh, come on. This kind of generalized, man-hating statement actually pisses me off.

    Oh and just for the record, I have had passionate sex with women. I love sex with women. If Julianne Moore walked through my door right now and asked me to make love to her, I'd faint.

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    1. Dear God... does no one in this world understand sarcasm?

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    2. No one gives a flying fuck about your boyfriend. What are you trying to prove?

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    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Gonna rage for a bit to make me feel better, as it seems what you ladies are doing. Ha ^ Bit of a stretch for sarcasm especially posted by two lesbians, so no this is not sarcasm but someone's bad tempered emotions too big for their own good (I have nothing against gay's but I do pity sexist's) #Alexa Joy No one but sexists give a flying fuck about 100 reasons to be lesbian, Anonymous was just speaking her mind (something you sexist lesbians can't reason with). Let's just get rid of every male in the animal kingdom so we can all turn lesbian and live in wonderland (Now that was sarcasm, the world will actually die out in a little over a century). Yours Sincerely Male - The animal who invented the internet so people can rage about mindless things and watch cats and porn, that helped together with Females to bring you here to use the internet to be fucking sexists.

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  3. @Anonymous It was meant to be a joke, so chill. It's not a sexist thing, it's just something funny. I'm not sexist, I'm pansexual, but I still found this amusing.

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  4. There are thousands of lists about problems of having girlfriends or boyfriends in straight couples, go pick on them. And as a bisexual this list is 100% true- I'm sure some girls don't mind those things about boys but a lot of us do. And the Top comment was just some chick trying to shove the fact that she has a boyfriend down everyone's throat and make it very obvious that she's had gay sex so she can feel more secure.

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  5. Why argue at all about someones opinion? People like what they like, accept it or not. I love pussy so if you don't like it then please eat a dick bahaha.

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  6. This is fuckenn right!!!I agreeee!!!!!!the exact reasons why I'm in a lesbian relationship!!!

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