To-Do List

I have a bucket list, and its awesome... it has alot of boring, predictable things on it, but things that I want to do nonetheless...

Here are a few new things that aren't so boring ;)

1. Wear a shirt that says "Life". Hand out lemons on a street corner.
2. Hire 2 private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
3. Go into a crowded elevator and say, "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here," with a straight face.
4. Make tapioca pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
5. Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is "C." Enjoy the show.
6. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell "It worked!" and run out cheering.
7. Buy a horse, name it "Oscar Takes The Lead," enter it in horse races.
8. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, "Help! I've been turned into a parrot."

EPICNESS

100 Reasons To Be A Lesbian

I found this on one of my lesbian friend's blogs tonight, and its freaking hilarious. This is all her, but I can relate to just about everything on this list. Read, and laugh... because it really is that funny :)



100 Reasons to be a Lesbian

1. Being able to say " What should I wear?" without getting made fun of by your boyfriend.
2. Sexy Santa outfits.
3. Because girls know how to be beautiful inside and out.
4. The way they get nervous.
5. Because you can't choke on a vagina.
6. Because the giggle or laugh of a girl who is in love with you is the most beautiful sound in the world.
7. Girls laugh cuter than guys do.
8. Girls get you.
9. Girls will be cute with you without being forced to.
10. She is the sun in the day, and the stars late at night, and when you're together, it just feels so right. I could never love a man like that.
11. The sound a girl makes when you nip at their lips or ears.
12. The way a woman's skin feels when you brush your fingertips against her.
13. Cute Halloween costumes.
14. The way they sound when they sing. The way they look when they dance. Swoon.
15. Belly button piercings are cute.
16. The dresses the women wore in "The Patriot".
17. I'm a lesbian because only girls can make my heart race.
18. If you had passionate sex with a woman then you'd know why I'm a lesbian.
19. Lady Gaga. She's got me like nobody.
20. Girl's lower backs.
21. Must I repeat the fact that girls are just cute?
22. Ladyparts > Manparts
23. Compare The Spice Girls to N*SYNC. Spice Girls win.
24. Have you seen the L Word?
25. I wanna be like Ellen and Portia Degeneres.
26. You don't have to lick balls.
27. You don't have to worry about kissing them with your lipgloss on... because they don't mind.
28. Christina Hendricks' breasts.
29. Girls aren't constantly adjusting their gentitals.
30. Megan Fox.
31. Because they don't have penises.
32. Joan Jett.
33. Angelina Jolie.
34. Nuff said.
35. All she ever needs is a look on my face to know what I want and how I feel.
36. You have an excuse to like Justin Bieber... He looks like one of us.
37. I can go into a gay bar and actually come out with a phone number.
38. Disgusted by men.
39. Because I can enjoy myself in the kitchen without hearing jokes about a woman's place.
40. Girls look better dancing.
41. To ruin every mother's dream wedding plans for her daughter.
42. Girls understand your love for kittens.
43. I'm obligated to be a lesbian because I like Tegan and Sara.
44. Girls look better in the morning.
45. I can actually have a platonic relationship with a man.
46. Girls know what girls like.
47. There are too many cute girls on tumblr NOT to be a lesbian.
48. Girls can sit with their knees touching without complaining about not having "room".
49. Girl's lips are softer.
50. The only problem with having an ex-girlfriend is the custody battle between clothes.
51. There were always more Barbie dolls than there were Ken dolls. Everyone can't date Ken.
52. I'm waiting on Kristen Stewart to come out of the closet.
53. Ellen Page.
54. Olivia Wilde.
55. Women are, more often than not, a fan of the felines.
56. They all love Tegan and Sara.
57. Women rarely tell you to suck it up and stop crying. Maybe she'll even cry with you.
58. Face it, women are just cuter.
59. Mom's are great... My kids will get two.
60. Sex is intuitive. Let's just say when you have the same parts, there's much less of a learning curve.
61. Look at a naken man. Then look at a naked woman. Now don't tell me that you seriously find the man more attractive.
62. Girls are way better kissers than boys. No thanks sloppy kisses.
63. Hello, have you seen Kiera Knightley?
64. Because body parts should not move on their own.
65. I like to be the one to pay for dinner once in a while.
66. Keep-in' it cool.
67. I love plaid.
68. NOTHING about a guy turns me on.
69. Girls are pretty.
70. Girlfriends know not to ask me if its my "time of the month" when I'm being difficult.
71. NO BACK HAIR.
72. Men's skin feels the same as sand paper.
73. Kissing someone with facial hair feels like rubbing your face on sandpaper.
74. We have similar interests in TV shows.
75. Legs, legs, and more legs.
76. We never have headaches.
77. Women don't sleep with their hand down their pants.
78. I don't want to be forced into a hunting trip.
79. We can eat lollipops without one of us getting the wrong idea.
80. Men don't get that telling us to calm down will only piss us off.
81. Men don't understand it when you say, "I need some ice cream RIGHT NOW."
82. I like to be the big spoon sometimes.
83. We can borrow each other's clothes.
84. Women don't burp on purpose.
85. I'll never have to do the dishes because "I'm the woman."
86. Boobs are always better than no boobs.
87. Only gay men take care of themselves as much as lesbians do.
88. It's all about the curves.
89. Barbies have always been better than Ken dolls.
90. I don't want a guido. Then again... I don't want a guidette either.
91. If you're not in the mood, blame it on cramps. Don't worry, she'll understand.
92. I'll never have to deal with beer guts.
93. Happy Trails. 'Nuff said.
94. Men are what they have. Dicks.
95. Women are gorgeous creatures.
96. Lesbians actually know what they're doing in the bedroom.
97. I don't have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant.
98. I don't want to ever HAVE to sit throught the Super Bowl
99. Have you SEEN Tool Academy?
100. Men have hair from head to toe. Literally.

Wintervention

Last year's Warren Miller Film is called Wintervention. Johnny Mosely narrates, and he's hosting a fake radio show for a "crisis hotline" where the Warren Miller athletes call in and talk about their addictions. Their addictions to snow. 

It's hilarious. It makes me laugh, because there are so many people like that in the world! I'm definitely one of them. I'm going to go through some major withdrawals this season because I'm not going to have 60 days on snow like I did last winter. My goggle tan line is going to be pathetic, and I'm going to feel like a pansy only being on the mountain once a week (sometimes twice depending on my days off) instead of 5-6 days a week. Its going to be sad, and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. 

My name is Ellen. I'm a skier in Salt Lake City. And I'm a ski-aholic. I'm in need of a wintervention.

Oh, and Johnny Mosely, you are more than welcome to come to Salt Lake and implement the wintervention :)

Skiing isn't a sport. Its a state of mind.

I've been watching a lot of Warren Miller films lately, and have been listening to a lot of my "ski playlists" on Pandora, and iTunes. Its been getting colder, and I'm starting to break out my ski stuff, and winter clothes. I've bought my new skis, and just have to get bindings for them. I've gotten a new jacket, and pants. I'm super stoked to get out there, and break it all in, and the wait is killing me. I'm SO excited for the season!!!

A lot of people kinda look at me weird when I tell them I'm a big skier. They don't understand what it means when I say that I clock in about 40 full days on snow. I eat, sleep and dream about snow. I look at videos, and vow that someday, I'll ski where they are skiing. I talk to sponsored athletes, and I promise myself that someday, I will be good enough to be sponsored. It's a long shot for sure... but it doesn't mean I can't dream big! This year, my skiing is going to be better than ever. I'm ready to leave it all out there. 

For me, skiing isn't just a sport. Its a way of life.

Random Thoughts For The Day

1. I absolutely LOVE President Thomas S. Monson!
2. Star Wars, Dr. Pepper, BBQ Pringles, and fruit snacks are a wonderful combination at 1am.
3. Ski season is 49 days away!!!
4. Its supposed to snow on Thursday!!! SO EXCITED!!
5. My candles make my room smell like Christmas, but I accidentally got green candle wax on my carpet. I don't know how to get it out... uh oh...
6. R2D2 is my favorite droid ever. He's legit.
7. I miss you. I miss you so much. Come back to me.
8. I have a soccer double header tomorrow... I think I'm gonna die...
9. My deodorant smells super good. 
10. I cleaned my room yesterday. I'm proud of myself.
11. I love to go grocery shopping. Is that weird?
12. My boss is super legit. I wanna be like her someday.
13. The more I go to school, the more I realize that I'd rather be a ski bum on the side on a mountain in a tent for the rest of my life.
14. I'm getting my hair cut on Friday!! I'm super duper excited!!
15. My super good friend is coming back to Utah at the end of the month!! 
16. I'm going to buy a car. And its gonna be awesome!
17. He is always there for you. Ever loyal, and supportive, He is an unconditional friend who stands by you, always encouraging, and understanding you. What better friend could you have than the Savior?

I love the Church. I love God. I love Christ. I'm not perfect, and I'm flawed, and I make thousands of mistakes everyday. Some big. Some small. But I try. I try so hard to be the very best person that I can be. And that makes all the difference. 

So... to all of you out there... who judge me, and think I'm a lost cause... who think that I will never change, and never be the person you wish that I was... hate all you want. Because I am cherished, valued and beautiful through the eyes of God. And that's all I will ever need to know.

Random Thoughts of the Day

1. Homework is never ending...

2. Chips and soda just go together.

3. SKIING

4. My apartment is always freaking hot...

5. I miss Frank the Tank.

6. Pepsi products are cheaper than Coke... so that sucks...

7. Frozen custard has nothing on ice cream.

8. Costa Vida is the shiz nit...

9. Midterms can kiss my ass.

10. SKIING

11. I lust over James Franco every time...

12. Ski season is only 57 days, 23 hours, 44 minutes away! :)

13. My goal is to have 50 days on snow this year!!

14. I LOVE The Fray!!

15. Soccer is going to be the death of me...

16. Kid in my institute class is freaking HOT.

17. Star Wars Risk is the greatest game ever made
18. SKIING

19. Plan Z... duct tape.

20. I got a spider bite today... ouch

21. I want to sleep

22. SKIING

23. SNOW

24. MOUNTAINS

25. I want cookies.

26. Should I cut my hair?

27. Where's Waldo?

28. I need some chocolate before I punch a baby...

29. SNOW

30. SKIING

31. SKIING

32. SKIING

33. Same shit, different day... 

Welcome to the chaos that is Ellen's attention span. I suffer from ADOS... Attention Deficit... OH SHINY!

Terrorist Attacks

In light of the recent terrorist attacks yesterday in Norway, it's got me thinking about terrorism, and what the UN can (or rather, can not) do about it.

We can see an example of what can be done in the Nuremburg Trials, where the Nazi's were tried and convicted for war crimes that were committed during the Holocaust. The jurisdiction fell to the Allied Powers (Great Britain, The Soviet Union, and the United States), as a direct result of the Declaration Regarding the Defeat of Germany and the Assumption of Supreme Authority by Allied Powers (a mouthful, I know). Although it's disputed whether this assumption of power constituted debellation, it allowed the Allied Powers the authority and means to rebuild the German State, and to hold an International Military Tribunal (as the crimes were committed by military personnel).

So, if terrorism is committed by military personnel, or a civilian working directly through the military (such as a weapons contractor or other military security force), there is jurisdiction to hold a military tribunal, by the victorious party. 

So what happens in cases like the September 11th attacks on the United States? Or the London Train Bombings, the Al Qaeda suicide bombings in Israel, the Moscow Train Bombings, or the Madrid Train Bombings? Many people think that you can just find whomever is responsible and put them on trial. Or that they can simply go to war with them, and feel justified. This is not so.  

First of all, you cannot just "go to war" with a country, and expect it be legal. The UN Security Council has in one of their charters, that you have to declare war through your respective country's government. For the United States, it would be Congress. This is the line of red tape that we ignored when we decided to invade Iraq and Afghanistan. President Bush had presidential authority to send troops without declaring war through Congress, but only for a 90 day period. Any amount of time beyond that, is subject to a Congressional vote.

There are miles of red tape surrounding this issue. Another important question to ask is this: Are terror attacks classified as civil crimes, or war crimes? Any terror attack can be viewed as an act of war, such as the terror attacks of September 11th, and they can also be viewed as a civilian matter, such as the Colombine shootings, or the the Oklahoma City bombing. Here is where you fall into another roll of red tape. 

Yet another roll can come in the form of National Boundaries. We can't just sue Canada if they decide to invade us during peace time... there's no law against that. And even if there was, I don't believe that we would sue... I believe "aggressive negotiations" would be in taken, and I firmly believe that the aggressive negotiations would result in the total annihilation of Canada... but that's just me. 

If "less than aggressive" negotiations are taken, they would be within the jurisdiction of the UN Security Council. After all... the first and second Charter Mandates require the UN : "To maintain international peace and security.... (and if necessary to enforce the peace) by taking preventive or enforcement action". But yet, the permanent members of the Security Council, due to its restricted administrative structure, have sometimes prevented the UN from fully carrying out its mandates. Which, in my soon to be professional opinion, is quite hypocritical. 

Now that I have gotten all that political garbage out of my system, I do want to express my sadness of the events, and my condolences to the families of the victims. Its a shame that anyone should ever have to die in such a way.