31 October 2012

Updated Doggie Name List

In addition to "Dog Face", "Bat Ears", and "Bad Maggie" on the doggie name list, this new namesake has been added:

"Puppy Killer"

On her walk this afternoon, she encountered a puppy. And the puppy was smelling her hoo-hah, and she wasn't havin' any of that...

Bad Puppy Killer. Bad.

BTW, she now has her own twitter account, to broadcast all of her evil doings. Follow it up, y'all. @Maggies_Mayhem. And I'm @ellenkoester. Obviously.

*DICLAIMER* Maggie didn't actually "kill" the puppy... She just got really angry at the puppy. "Puppy Killer" just sounds so much cooler.......

30 October 2012

New Ward

So I moved recently. Officially a month ago, but I had stopped really living there in August. I love my new house, and love that I'm living with Melissa... I don't have to deal with the Molly Mormon, "shove the Gospel down your throat", "you'll never achieve actual happiness if you fall in love with another woman" roommates again. So freaking glad.

I think the only thing I'm going to miss about living there, is the ward. I absolutely LOVED that ward. The people were amazing, and the Relief Society presidency was a life saver at times. The bishop... Yeah, won't miss him too much. I mean... He was a wonderful man, and he did so much for the ward members. But when it came to me... He should have approached the whole "lesbian" thing a lot different. Every time the subject was brought up in our bi-weekly meetings, it was always like this, "So lets talk about you thinking that you're gay." Thinking??? Trust me... I know. There are no if's, and's, or but's about it. Every General Conference talk, or Ensign article he would present to me would only make me feel more discouraged about where I belonged in this Church. He only emphasized things about me that were inherently wrong, and that needed to be remedied. Never anything that was good, or worthy. Never mind the fact that I joined this Church knowing that I was gay (I had admitted it only to myself, and honestly... I hadn't even admitted that I was "gay"... Just that I liked other girls). I knew I was gay, and I knew how this Church treated gays... Prop 8 made that very clear. Never mind my attempt to serve a mission. Never mind that despite how church leaders have treated me personally, and despite mountains of GC talks, Ensign articles, and other Church literature that make this part of my identity a "disease", an "affliction", and something that can be overcome, because its a "sin next to death"... I AM STILL HERE! I still walk into my meetings, with my head held high, I still participate in my Sunday School and Relief Society classes, and I still met with him every 2 weeks. I'm still here.

But now that I've moved, I'm in a different ward. And I'm excited... New people are always fun. But I'm scared that I'm going to have another bishop who is insensitive to the needs that I have. Or that I'll have a Relief Society president, or Sunday School teacher, or multiple people in the ward who are very anti-gay. I'll still be myself, and I'll still come out (at the appropriate moment of course... I'm not going to glitter bomb the ward in Fast and Testimony meeting this Sunday). But I'm scared... This church has an unforgiving history of discrimination, and using the Standard Works and other Gospel Literature to support their hateful and hurtful bigotry.

The advantage I have, however, is that I am in a singles ward. The younger generations are becoming more and more accepting (even within the Church), and that makes me feel a little more at ease.

We'll see how this Sunday goes.....

27 October 2012

Maggie Mayhem

Some of you may know her from the movie "Whip It" (brilliant movie, if I do say so myself... And Ellen Page is HOT!) However, I know Maggie Mayhem, as my dog. She is also referred to as: The Beast, Dog Face, Bat Ears, Deer Legs, and "Bad Maggie". You can obviously see how horribly her name suits her.

This is Maggie: (I'm writing this on the iPhone app... Not sure if they're going to show up or not). She is a 2 year old Border Collie-Aradell (sp?) mix. She's hyper, sheds like a maniac, and is FAR too smart for her own damn good. Technically, she's Melissa's dog, she got her after her dad passed away 2 years ago. But we're practically an old married couple now, and I've decided to adopt her as my own. I question that decision everyday.

The stories are never ending... There's the one about where she eats underwear... Or the one where she likes to drink out of the tub. Or the time where she laid down in the middle of 700 East in Salt Lake City (an extremely busy street). And then the time where she insisted sleeping on our bed... So Melissa and I put her bed on top of ours. (See picture below). She also has severe separation anxiety, and follows us around like a shadow. And the endless barking. Then there was the time that Melissa gave her a hair cut in the bathtub. Then the day we came home from work, and she had escaped from the bedroom, into the kitchen. No clue as to how that was accomplished. Countless stories of car rides (Melissa has a short cab pickup... Yeah...). She tries to chase cars while on walks... But only certain ones. She practically refuses to eat dog food, but then looks at us when we're eating with this sad puppy dog face saying, "But guys! This isn't fair! You're starving me to death!" Melissa and I read her thoughts and narrate them. She has a southern hick accent, by the way... We think it suits her nicely. She has this silent bark thing... and she is quite talkative without actually barking. And last, but not least, is that she enjoys licking things... Particularly boobs.

We even made a list! A list of things that are NOT for puppies. (note: this list is compiled of things that she has already done, and has been told NOT to do, touch, get into, etc.)

The List:

Dr. Pepper
Fortune Cookies
Raw Meat
Hamburger Helper
Laundry Baskets
Plastic Bags
Toilet Water
Hot Dogs
Trash Cans
Ellen's Boobs
Ellen's Legs
Ellen's Food
Ellen's Bed
Ellen's Face
(List is added to almost everyday)

I only have 3 simple rules...
1. Don't lick Ellen's face.
2. Don't eat Ellen's food.
3. Don't sleep on Ellen's bed.

Do you see a trend?

I have hair everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I can't escape it! No matter what I try on. And when I pull clothes out of the dryer, half the lint catcher is filled with Maggie hair. It's taking over the house!! I pull hair out of my mouth multiple times a day. It's driving me insane.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Wow... She's a bitch. This dog can't really be that bad."

She is.

Have you ever seen "Marley & Me"? Cute movie. Absolutely love it. Maggie is like Marley. But worse. But Melissa and I are like Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson (Melissa is Jennifer... HOT). We really do love her. Like ought now... She's laying on the bed (my side... So I can't stretch out my legs...), and snoring. She's adorable. Not hyper, not jumping on me, not licking me face... She's being good. And honestly, on the mornings that Melissa goes to work early, and I'm still in bed, she's a great cuddler. :)

There ya have it folks! You've officially met my dog. Want to hear more? Let me know... I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and on.............

26 October 2012

Romney in Defiance

I'm from the small town of Defiance, Ohio. Raised Catholic, and raised in a VERY conservative community. And my parents always voted. I vaguely remember going with my mom to the polling station at Anthony Wayne Elementary School (if you don't know who that is, brush up on your history) for the 1992 election (I was almost 3), and again for the 1996 election (I was in 1st grade, and I got to get out of class to go vote with my mom). I never knew who my parents voted for, they always said it was a secret, and we never had signs in our front lawn. But I always knew that voting was important. Couple that with the fact that my dad was a huge history buff, and we lived in an old town stuffed with monuments from the French and Indian War, it's really no wonder why I love history an politics like I do.

But the town itself was (and still is) very conservative. The thing to do on Friday night was go to the high school football or basketball game. The bowling alleys were stuffed with high schoolers on the weekends, simply because there wasn't anywhere else to go. We have hicks from the dairy farms, workers from the GM plant (that employs well over 50% of the town's workforce) and the Johns Manville plant (JM), teachers, and small business owners. People loved their guns and camo. There was even a kid at my junior prom who had a camo vest complete with the camo baseball cap. It is what it is. And I didn't know any better.

Then I came to Utah, and started out in the bustling metropolis of Cedar City, enrolled as a Political Science major at Southern Utah University. SUU was more liberal than the rest of the town, certainly... But with the student body being primarily LDS (as was I, but that's a whole different story), and hailing from Utah, Idaho, and Nevada (mostly), it was still pretty conservative. As was I.

And then there was the fateful day when I finally realized that I was gay. I certainly was not out of the closet (I still had aspirations for a mission), but I had finally accepted it as reality. That's when my brain started turning. I now am unable to marry (unless it was to a man... Yuck), I am unable to be a foster parent, and although it is legal for me to adopt children, Utah law gives priority to married, heterosexual couples, rather than to "unwed cohabiting adults" (as my wife and I would be referred as). Utah, as a state, still has no discrimination protection for the LGBT community, so I might also be evicted, or fired from my job, solely because of my sexual orientation (though Salt Lake City has passed a law protecting those rights, excluding religious organizations). All that legal stuff aside, being Mormon carried its own terrifying stigmas... The Church is notorious for their treatment of the LGBT community within its membership (including me, with my attempt to serve a full-time mission). There are countless Ensign articles, and General Conference addresses, that speak on the matter (that'll be another post for another day). Needless to say, I was petrified all around. But my first step was to change my political opinion. Because if I continued to vote for candidates from a political party, whose platform supported legislation that made me into a second class citizen; and an "undesirable #1" (plug for Harry Potter *holla*), then I truly was a fool.

Long story short, I moved to Salt Lake City, transferred to the University of Utah, and went from a conservative Republican, to an independent, and finally to a Democrat. (my friend Amanda called me a Democrat for months before I finally caved and registered as one). And I got A LOT of flack for it. Too many Mormons believe that the Republican Party is God's anointed party. WRONG. And I can't tell you how many people in my classes (and even a Poli Sci Professor at the U) called me a hypocrite for being a liberal who was pro-choice, and pro-same sex marriage, while being Mormon. If only they knew.........

Today (or yesterday really... It's 3am) Mitt Romney showed up in my little hometown of Defiance, Ohio and held a campaign rally. *facepalm* My twitter and Facebook exploded with pro-Romney bilge. I wanted to scream at them... The GM bailout that President Obama provided, is the only reason Defiance is still standing. The vast majority of the workforce is employed by the GM plant, and companies that support it. Thousands of people would've been out of a job had the plant gone under. Thousands. And the people are biting the hand that feeds!! Bitching and moaning about Obama and the economy. Now... I'll be the first to say that the economy could better. It could be 1000 times better. And it's something that the President is going to have to work on big time in his next term (assuming he's elected). But without the bailout, without Obama, Defiance wouldn't have an economy to bitch about.

All that aside, it's nice to see Defiance on the national stage. Even if it involves Mitt Romney. And it's now the second election in a row that the GOP candidate has campaigned in Defiance. John McCain tapped us in 2008.

So there's my rant on politics. And how I switched teams (every pun intended) hahahahaha!

25 October 2012

Telling my own story.

This is something I'm not really that good at. I feel like my life is really personal, and there are things that I probably will never tell another person for the rest of my life. (Well... Besides Melissa that is...)

But as a friend once told me (shout out to the Sistas!!), if I don't tell my own story, then someone else will. And unless its a biography, because I turned into the next Margaret Thatcher or something, I definitely want to be the one telling the story. There are too many people out there (shout out to Defiance, Ohio & Co.) who don't like me. At all. And I'm not saying that they don't have a good reason to not like me... Most of them do. Others have a great reason to not like me, but have decided to forgive me anyway (shout out to you guys... Y'all know who you are). But like I said before... Someone has to tell my story. And I'll be damned if its gonna be anyone but me.

I'll pick out a random tidbit per post... Mostly because I'm far from normal, and what's the fun in writing a "normal" story anyway. None of this "start from the beginning" crap, or "how did that make you feel" bullshit. I'm just going to take a piece of the puzzle randomly, and just run with it.

Now where to start... I knew this sounded too easy...

24 October 2012

I'm really bad at this

I'm an awful blogger. I know that I am... I do really well for like, a week, and then I fall off the face of the blogger-verse. I know, and I will try better :) Especially now that I have people who actually read my blog... Weird...

So I did a pretty big thing today. I came out on Facebook. Honestly, people really shouldn't have been too shocked (unless they have buried their heads in the sand), because I post a lot of "Democratic propaganda" ;) But today was the first time I said it aloud (or typed... Whatever). High school classmates, college roommates, ex-boyfriends, and family... Now they all know. I feel a little bit bad about not telling my family personally, but my parents walked out of my life 2 years ago (taking my siblings with them) and never looked back... So for them, I really don't care. But I feel bad for my grandparents mostly. We still stay in fairly good contact, despite the 2000 miles and 2 hour time difference separating us. And if I had the option of walking down the street to tell them myself, I would have. And maybe I took the easy way out doing it this way... I don't know... Judge me if you must. But it's done and over with. Say la vie.

I had great reactions too... All until my Aunt Mary started arguing with me over the Affordable Care Act (I promise that didn't come out of nowhere... Read my last post, and you'll get it) But the fact that she was arguing over that, instead of the GAY ELEPHANT is a pretty big deal... Maybe she just ignored it, pretended I didn't say anything. But I'm counting it as a win until it isn't one anymore. Maybe for my next post, I'll post all the comments that my friends wrote. :) It truly made me feel loved.

On another note, Mitt Romney is having a rally in my hometown of Defiance, Ohio on Thursday. *BARF* All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not there to witness all of the bilge that comes out of his mouth. I think he's a great guy and all... And he's Mormon, so the Church is getting a ton of publicity, which is awesome for the missionaries. But yeah... Definitely not getting my vote. But it's cool... In the 2008 election, John McCain came to Defiance for a rally. Ohio's a big swing state, so the candidates swarm there. Utah is a concrete conservative red state... Republicans don't need any big rally's to sway votes here, and Democrats (unfortunately) don't have a shot, so they don't bother. And even though it sucks, it makes sense. Plus, Utah only carries 5 electoral points, so we get looked over anyway. Whatever... In 2 weeks, I'll be casting my "protest" vote. Haha

Ok... Rant over. I'm gonna cuddle op to my cute, snoring, girlfriend.

23 October 2012

Holy Crap

Just posted this to Facebook... Take it for what you will...

"So I honestly thought people were pulling my leg when they said that there were people out there who believe that President Obama has declared war on religion, and by extension, the Catholic Church, and the LDS Church. Turns out, they weren't kidding.

Seriously?? Simply because the president believes that women have the right to choose, and have a right to contraception, and access to it (even through religious institutions) and believes that I should have the right to marry, just like everyone else, he is declaring war on religion.

Wrong. He is trying to ensure that everyone has access to healthcare. And i completely agree with that. I cannot afford my own health/dental insurance. I haven't been to the dentist or had even a basic physical since I graduated high school. The only way I have access to women's healthcare is through Planned Parenthood (which Mitt Romney wants to eliminate federal funding to). I take birth control pills, not because I have to worry about getting pregnant, but because it contains hormones that keep my body healthy, so that when I am ready to have kids, I'll be able to. And he believes that I should have the right to marry, and have the exact same rights and privileges as everyone else, despite the fact that I am a lesbian.

I've had plenty of people come to me and ask me how I could possibly be pro-choice and pro-same sex marriage and still be a good Mormon who comes from a strong Catholic background. It's because I do not vote upon my religious beliefs. I vote upon my moral beliefs. Do I disagree with the LDS and Catholic Church on their positions on same sex marriage (and homosexuality in general)? You're damn right. But I have a firm belief in my Heavenly Father, and in Jesus Christ, and of the healing power of the Atonement. That is why I have not left religion behind. But I will not force my beliefs onto anyone else. And I will not vote for a candidate from the Republican Party (or the Democratic Party for that matter) while their platform supports positions that continue to make me a second class citizen."

I just came out on Facebook...