After my experience in the temple, I went home and studied the concept of revelation. How it works, how it's "supposed" to feel. The next day I emailed my bishop and told him that I had an experience in the temple that regarded personal revelation, and that I'd like to speak with him about it. He immediately sent me upstairs to the Stake President (to this day I still wonder why he did that without speaking to me first.) I gave his executive secretary a call, and I met with him about a week later.
I went into the meeting and I explained what I had experienced in as much detail as I could. I told him everything. He sat there nodding his head, and he looked a little puzzled. He opened his scriptures and started marking things, and taking notes. When I finished, he told me very plainly, "I'm sorry, but what you have just told me is a lie. Personal revelation will never trump official, established revelation given by the Prophets." He continued to explain that it was the case partly because I do not hold the Priesthood.
Excuse me? My personal revelation was false? A lie? And because I don't hold the Priesthood?? (Which implies that no woman in the Church will ever receive revelation) No way. I believe that Satan can tempt us, but I do not believe that he can imitate the feelings that the Holy Ghost gives in confirmation. When I received this revelation, I felt the exact same feeling that I felt when I prayed about the Book of Mormon. If I had not, I probably would have interpreted it as Satan trying to tempt me. Not that it would have mattered, because I firmly believe that Satan cannot penetrate the temple to get to us. God would throw his sorry ass out to the curb. But that's just my opinion...
After recovering from the shock of his statement, I brought up the story of Nephi and Laban in 1Nephi 4. Nephi was not yet a prophet. His father Lehi was still alive and receiving revelation, as was Jeremiah in Jerusalem. He had no prophetic or apostolic authority to receive revelation for others. Therefore Nephi received personal revelation. And his personal revelation was in contention with official and established revelation from the prophet Moses. Nephi was commanded to kill Laban for the brass plates, but the Ten Commandments tell him, Thou shalt not kill.
Nephi questions the Spirit at first (with good reason) saying, "Never at anytime have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him." (1Nephi 4:10) The Spirit had to tell him three times that he was to kill Laban. Finally Nephi obeyed the voice of The Lord (1Nephi 4:18), and he smitten off Laban's head with his own sword (1Nephi 4:19). He did this because the Spirit testified that "It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief." (1Nephi 4:13)
In regards to my personal revelation... The Spirit testified to me three times. I questioned The Lord; I doubted His Spirit. But I know that it was given to me because it is better that I live to see another day, and that others live to see another day, than to have the entire LGBT Mormon community dwindle and perish. And I told him this. Which in hindsight... Not the best idea...
My Stake President got a little flustered at this point... He told me that I had not been "chosen" like Nephi was. That Nephi was preparing to be a prophet (which I absolutely believe). He told me that I was bordering on being an apostate. And he told me that my communication with Satan was sinful, and that until I turn my heart back to The Lord, I would not receive "legitimate" revelation.
*cue Todd Akin*
That day, I left discouraged... But 6 months later, when I received my patriarchal blessing, I was uplifted. Because my blessing is chock full of affirming passages to my personal revelation. Like this, "The world is in commotion. There is a multitude of opinions, motives, and desires in conflict and it is difficult for a seeker of truth to know who is right. The grace of God has given you the answer. Be grateful for the knowledge and testimony he has given you."
Am I being prepared to be a prophet? No, but my blessing does say this, "You have been reserved to come to earth in the dispensation of the fullness of times in which you now live in order that you could assist in the preparations for the Second Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ."
Are there purposes for me to fulfill? Heavenly Father says so, "You will be able to accomplish the purposes for which you were sent to earth. There are significant purposes and circumstances where you will provide very valuable assistance in accomplishing the work of the Lord."
And there is no mention of marriage. None. Which, as I have been told, is quite rare and unusual for a young, fertile woman like myself. Pretty sure that's not a coincidence.
I am including passages from my blessing, not to brag about the kick ass things I'm meant to do, but to support my unwavering knowledge that what happened that day in the temple was genuine. I only wish that I had received my blessing earlier, not just to tell my Stake President, and show him that I'm not an apostate, but for my own well being.
Since I wrote about this experience, and since it has been published on No More Strangers, there have been countless people that have told me about similar experiences. That they have had the Spirit testify to them that they are doing the right thing. Coincidence? I think not.
Let me reaffirm that I did not, under any circumstance, receive revelation for the entire, world wide Church. That is a Priesthood key that I do not hold. The only person on the earth that holds that key, is Thomas S. Monson, president of the Church, and sustained as prophet, seer, and revelator. I sustain him. And I will sustain him in every general conference for the duration of his life. And then I will sustain the next prophet (whoever he may be).
With that said, I encourage every person, who has ever had a question about anything, to ask it. Put James 1:5 to work. But ask in faith, with no bias (James 1:6), because you will not receive an answer to your prayers when your heart is closed to it. That applies to the average member of the Church, and to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. If your heart is closed and hardened, you will not receive revelation.
Ask and you shall receive. Knock and it shall be opened up unto you.