I've had a crappy day... I decided to not go to church this morning... I was tired, and feeling lazy, so I decided I would be better off without today. WRONG! Pretty much the stupidest decision of my week. Not to mention that I missed out on flirting with the hot, sexy, man candy, Australian boy from my ward... that alone probably would have improved my day. ;) So instead, I moped around most of the day til Tess made my day by taking me out and taking pictures, and riding around on my scooter downtown. And then I played a joke on Tess... by taking her up City Creek Canyon, and turned down a dark alley, and turned off my lights. She was not amused... :)
But I found some fun jokes on the internet and in magazines that I thought I'd share... here goes...
- One ship carrying blue paint collided with another ship carrying red paint. The crew is missing and believed to be marooned. :)
- Two cows, Daisy and Dolly, are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." Dolly says, "I don't believe you." "It's true," insists Daisy. "No bull." :)
- A young guy who's never picked up a golf club decides to take lessons. The pro shows him the basics, then says, "Okay, now try to hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice tees off and drives the ball 300 yards. It lands on the green, just inches from the hole. "Now what?" he says. "Uh," stammers the pro, "you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." The beginner says, "Now you tell me." :)
- Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose nametag reads "Beautiful." "Is that really your name?" I asked her. "No," she admitted. "But if people are going to holler at me all day, I can at least be called something I like." :)
- Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine announced they have found a cure for baldness in mice. This is great news. Nothing looks more ridiculous than a mouse with a comb-over.
- A colleague's band performed in a park before an audience that gradually dwindled down to one lone man. After pounding out more songs, one of the tired musicians finally suggested to the music lover that if he left, they could all go home. "Do whatever you want," said the man. "I'm just waiting around so I can put away the chairs." :)
- A man drowned in a tub of milk with a banana in his ear. Authorities suspect a cereal killer. :)
- A toilet was stolen from the precinct. Police have nothing to go on. :)
- Someone broke a hole in the nudist colony's fence. Cops are looking into it. :)
Clear, concise headline are imperative to good news reporting. So what were the newspaper editors thinking when they printed these?
- Dead Man Ignored Police Officer (Scottsdale Arizona Republic)
- County Invited to Waste Day Planning Meeting (Oceana's [Michigan] Herald-Journal)
- Terror Leader in Iraq Declares War on Tape
Hope those brightened your day... they sure brightened mine.
There is one more thing to share however... I read PostSecret like crazy... I LOVE IT! But there was one particular one this week that was amazing... and it describes me to a T.
I'm Mormon, and I still think for myself. I do. I am free thinking, and I have my own opinions. So many people who are not members of the Church believe that we are a cult, and that everyone is forced to think and believe a certain way. And that just is not the case... The Church influences my opinions, and many times, I have the same opinion as the Church. But I still make my own opinions. I exercise my agency. C'mon... I'm a political science major for crying out loud! I'm about as opinionated as anyone can be! And I'm opinionated about EVERYTHING!!! :) I love it.... and it sure isn't changing anytime soon!