10 June 2013

It's Been Swell

I met Melissa in May 2012. We started dating June 17, 2012, I told her that I loved her July 26th, and she asked me to marry her on November 4, 2012. June 10, 2013 she called it quits. I'm not going to pretend like I'm doing ok... Because I'm not. My heart is shattered and I feel like I'll never be happy again. (Where's my Patronus when I need it?) But here's to another door opening. Here's to living one day at a time.

We are still living together. Mostly we're too broke to afford to move out. And aside from being my girlfriend, she was my best friend. I don't want to cut her out  of my life. Because if I cut her out, then there's no one else left (My immediate family and I mutually evicted each other from our lives). 

But it's hard to not look at her like my girlfriend. I can't look at her with "roommate eyes" yet. I can't stop calling her "baby", "dear(est)", and "love"... Because we rarely used our first names in casual conversation with each other. It feels artificial, and fake. 

But it's not.

She's started flirting with (and possibly had started dating) a girl that she works with at Lowes... Megan. She's has had a crush on Melissa from the beginning. When they first started being friends, Melissa asked me if it was ok that they text, and hang out. Naturally, I said yes, because fully I trusted her. I told her that it was fine with me as long as the relationship stays appropriate. Joke's on me I guess.

I don't know who to reach out to... I don't have a lot of close friends anymore, because I caught the "married and boring" bug. I spent my free time with Melissa and few others. So it's going to be interesting.

Anyone in need of a sad, and pathetic friend?

It's gonna be rough going. It's going to suck. But, all in all, it'll be ok. It gets better, right?


  1. I have to admit, this was hard to read and I understand, because I have been there. I am sorry that things went the way they did. You deserve better Ellen and I will still like to be your friend. I know we weren't close, but I did enjoy your company. If you would like to get out and do something or have someone to call, give me a text or call. i would be more then happy to try and be friends with you. Just don't ditch me for another girl ;)


    1. P.S. I would be more then happy to go Bad Girls club on Megan ass, if you need me to!

  2. Steve! Where have you been my whole life!!! We need to be friends. You're the best :)

    1. Girly I have been 3 blocks away from you in my new apartment. e-mail at stevereest@gmail.com and I will send you my number, if you don't have it anymore. Ellen mentioned that you got a new number.